New Single – “Ne Znam” Live from International Night

My new and first RAP song, performed at International Night in Adelphi University. Lyrics in English and Bulgarian follow the video:

С тази песен не целя да заклеймявам.
Ние сме всичките на едно дередже.
Крайно време е да хванем живота си в ръце.
За всички млади хора.
Доброто момче на българският рап. Кмета. Да.

1. Не знам колко повече да трая тая тъпа помия
2. Не знам и колко дълго вече ще ми трябва да крия
3. Не знам защо ги чакате да бягат в майка Русия
4. Не знам защо си мислиме че пука им на тия?
5. А колко малко всъщност искаме ние…
6. И колко много пъти ще се пробваме да ги навием?!
7. Не знам защо. Ни мислят за лайна.
8. Освен когато май сме на тяхната страна.
9. Кажете ми вие кога започнахме да тракаме
10. със зъби по оглозгания кокъл с който смятаме
11. да почнеме дебата с депутатите? Не вярваме,
12. но знаеме ще трябва да изчакаме. Отбягваме
13. да вземем ний решения, да действаме. Гладуваме
14. и потъвайки надолу ний си мислим, че пируваме.
15. Не знам защо сме още май под робство,
16. на Корупция, Убийства, Кражби – неудобство
17. пред факта за това че даваме им ний парите
18. да гласуват с чужди карти и за колите.

1. И колко повече, копеле? – Не знам.
2. И колко дълго, копеле? – Не знам.
3. А пука ли им, копеле? – Не знам.
4. Не знам какво да кажа вече чувствам че съм сам.
5. Какво да правим, копеле? – Не знам.
6. Кого да давим, копеле? – Не знам.
7. Ще се справиме ли, копеле? – Не знам.
8. Не знам какво да кажа какви съвети да ти дам.

1. Всеки път щом се прибера във къщи ми се мръщи
2. някой че съм имал стойност неприсъщи
3. на българин заминал за чужбина, гадина
4. викат ми – избягъл си от своята родина.
5. Не знам какво да кажа.
6. Щом съм тук значи се опитвам да сменя пейзажа,
7. да размажа, да смачкам камуфлажа
8. на тия тъпи депутати дето само блажат
9. и стилно мажат с лъжите си по всичките канали.
10. Не искам повече измама, разбра ли?
11. Чудя се за кой ли път да се опитам
12. отново станцията стара аз да вкарам в ритъм,
13. но не знам какво да кажа вече
14. щом след триста пъти пак не ме разбра човече!
15. Че да можеш да смениш програмата
16. трябва малко да се живнеш и да спреш със драмата!
17. Я спри със драмата!
18. Да – спри със драмата!

1. И колко повече, копеле? – Не знам.
2. И колко дълго, копеле? – Не знам.
3. А пука ли им, копеле? – Не знам.
4. Не знам какво да кажа вече чувствам че съм сам.
5. Какво да правим, копеле? – Не знам.
6. Кого да давим, копеле? – Не знам.
7. Ще се справиме ли, копеле? – Не знам.
8. Не знам какво да кажа какви съвети да ти дам.

1. Проблема не е само с парламента, агента
2. а с всички нас които слушаме президента.
3. Диригента, дисидента, интелигента и доцента,
4. конкурента, контингента, кореспондента и пациента,
5. продуцента, претендента, опонента и студента,
6. всички спазваме крайно грешно регламента.
7. Не знам колко време ще ни трябва да успеем,
8. но е крайно време май да престанеме да блеем.
9. Време е да спреме да ревеме и да чакаме
10. някой друг да дойде и отново да го втасаме.
11. Знам че е трудно да започнем да възставаме,
12. но е крайно време за смяна на тъпото предаване.
13. Време е да спреме да се правим на велики
14. заровени във спомени и купища антики.
15. Дори при бай Тошо бяха същите лайна,
16. в които ний заравяме нашите деца.
17. Време е да вземем всичко в нашите ръце
18. да се справиме с проблемите лице в лице.

1. И колко повече, копеле? – Не знам.
2. И колко дълго, копеле? – Не знам.
3. А пука ли им, копеле? – Не знам.
4. Не знам какво да кажа вече чувствам че съм сам.
5. Какво да правим, копеле? – Не знам.
6. Кого да давим, копеле? – Не знам.
7. Ще се цправиме ли, копеле? – Не знам.
8. Не знам какво да кажа какви съвети да ти дам.

I don’t know

Verse:
1. I don’t know how long I can stand this bullsh**.
2. I don’t know how long I will have to hide it.
3. I don’t know why you wait for them to run to Russia.
4. I don’t know why you think they care at all.
5. And how little we really want…
6. And how many times are we going to try to make them see this?!
7. I don’t know why they think we are garbage,
8. unless we are on their side.
9. Tell me when did we start to crack
10. with our teeth on the leftover bones with which
11. we are going to start the debate with the politicians? We don’t believe it,
12. but we know we’ll have to wait. We evade
13. making decisions, taking action. We starve
14. and sinking slowly down, we think we are feasting.
15. I don’t know why we are still under slavery
16. of corruption, murders, thefts – uneasiness
17. over the fact that we are the ones giving them the money
18. to vote with fake cards (how votes are done in the parliament) and for their new cars.

Chorus:
1. How much more, mate? – I don’t know.
2. How long more, mate? – I don’t know.
3. Do they care, mate? – I don’t know.
4. I don’t know what to say anymore – I feel alone.
5. What should we do, mate? – I don’t know.
6. Who should we kill, mate? – I don’t know.
7. Are we going to make it, mate? – I don’t know.
8. I don’t know what to say and what advice to give you anymore.

Verse:
1. Every time I go back home somebody is frowning at me
2. for having principles, uncharacteristic of
3. a Bulgarian gone abroad, traitor –
4. they say – you have run away from your home country.
5. I don’t know what to say to this.
6. The fact that I am here means I am trying to change things,
7. to crush, and crumple down the camouflage
8. of these stupid politicians who only take advantage of us
9. and skillfully paint with their lies over all TV channels.
10. I don’t want any more lies, do you understand?
11. I wonder if yet again I should try
12. to change the old station and put it back in rhythm,
13. but I don’t know what to say anymore
14. since after 300 times you still can’t seem to understand me, man!
15. To be able to change the station
16. you have to liven up a little and stop with all the drama!
17. Yeah, stop the drama!
18. Yes – stop the drama!

Chorus:
1. How much more, mate? – I don’t know.
2. How long more, mate? – I don’t know.
3. Do they care, mate? – I don’t know.
4. I don’t know what to say anymore – I feel alone.
5. What should we do, mate? – I don’t know.
6. Who should we kill, mate? – I don’t know.
7. Are we going to make it, mate? – I don’t know.
8. I don’t know what to say and what advice to give you.

Verse:
1. The problem is not just with the parliament, the agents,
2. but also with all of us who listen to the president.
3. The conductor, the dissident, the intelligent and the teacher,
4. the concurrent, the contingent, the correspondent and the patient,
5. the producer, the pretender, the contender and the student,
6. we all follow quite wrongly the regulations.
7. I don’t know how much time we will need to succeed,
8. but it’s about time we stop just looking around.
9. It’s time to stop crying and waiting for
10. somebody else to come and sh** on us again.
11. I know it’s hard to start a revolution,
12. but it’s about time to change the stupid station.
13. It’s time to stop pretending we are so great
14. buried under old memories and lots of antiques.
15. Even under father Tosho (a big communist leader) it was the same sh**,
16. under which we bury our children.
17. It’s time to take things in our own hands
18. to deal with the problems face to face.

Chorus:
1. How much more, mate? – I don’t know.
2. How long more, mate? – I don’t know.
3. Do they care, mate? – I don’t know.
4. I don’t know what to say anymore – I feel alone.
5. What should we do, mate? – I don’t know.
6. Who should we kill, mate? – I don’t know.
7. Are we going to make it, mate? – I don’t know.
8. I don’t know what to say and what advice to give you.

Adelphi University’s Athletics Highlights – a movie by Stan Bogdanov

Downfall – A new movie i am in…

Videos from Adelphi University’s International Night

Here are some of the videos i took from this year’s International Night Show. I was the host and performed two songs. Enjoy!

In memory of my beloved friend/brother/roommate Mauricio Saavedra…

Short Movies

Here are some of my short movies… Pretty old by now…

Everything Died:

 

The Chase:

Think Dont Drink PSA:

Got Milk:

Finally Some Videos

Finally I posted some of my videos on YouTube… You will be able to enjoy them on this website as well. First i will post just different fun things and in another post i will post some of my first short movies.

First two videos (actually one in total) from our trip to Ocean City: 

And a weird wrestling thingy between me and Mauricio – lol : 

And the best song ever !!! The video me and my guys did for the International Tea Party: 

Freud – “On Dreams”

I am at work right now… Interesting. I have never thought that i would sit down and actually start writing posts on a website/blog. I am such a lazy person. Had so many times tried to start a website, but never succeeded just because i am too lazy to actually sit down and put my thoughts down… Well… No more, i guess . I have decided to pretty much try and post at least every two days here. For what purpose i am not sure. I dont know if anybody will actually check my website out, but still… I have always wanted to make some difference and now i have the chance to do it. Put my art, my videos, music and ideas online and hope one day something good and big will come out of them. But lets not diverge because i have only about 15 mins before i start work. This specific post is dedicated to a short book by Freud called “On Dreams”. It is actually a shortened version of his thorough and very hard to read manual on dreams called “The Interpretation of Dreams”. We read it in one of my Honors College Junior Seminars dedicated to cultural pardigms in cinema… Anyway. So much for the background. The book pretty much gives you ideas on how dreams work and then proceeds telling you how to interpret your own (or someone else’s on that matter) dreams. I was so fascinated by this! I have never thought that dreams that seem like have absolutely no sense at first actually have a deep and interesting meaning. It is surprising for me to find that most of the dreams that i have had, however weird they might have seemed, are deeply connected with past experiences and most of all my subconscious thoughts and desires. I will not continue to say more on this book. What i will proceed to do now is give and example of a dream i had about 4 days ago and then give an analysis of this dream according to Freud’s ideas. The dream is not actually very hard to interpret, but it is an interesting starting point and would give a nice example to all of you people that might be interested in reading more about dream interpretting. Lets commence.

So. The dream started with me and one fair skinned girl with long wavy hair going down a path. We were looking for my grandmother. Or at least i had the feeling that we were looking for her. According to me in my dream my grandmother was on the roof of an apartment building and was carrying a soccer ball (i use this instead of football because my fellow american readers might not understand). So. We walk. She is right besides me and supports me.

We pass by a street. A car speeds down the street and almost hits a fat guy that is walking in the middle of the street. We cross the street and go onto a playing field which leads to the apartment building. I can almost see the building.

 At the playing field kids are playing soccer. Two kids are passing the ball with their hands and one of them hits the other in the head and the ball flies high in the sky. Another group of kids are passing the ball. The ball comes to me and i pass it back to them. We continue.

My phone rings. Its my grandmother. I however dont manage to pick on time. She leaves me a text message stating: “You never get my calls. I lost the ball and am going to find it. Come and get me.”

We continue towards the building and i wake up . Interesting ha ? Wait to see the explanation.

Ok. A little background.

During the day my roommates went to play soccer and asked me to join them. I had the desire to do it and really felt like playing, but in the same time didnt want to run around in the cold outside and was kinda tired so decided to just stay home. As you can see this moment predetermined the image of the soccer ball in my dream, even though its actual meaning is connected with other moments from my life.

So. The girl that walks next to me. This has actually been something like a recurring image in my dreams, even though the girl is always different (regarding physical features). When i came to think about what it signified i reached the conclusion that it signified me seeking the support from a female partner. I have always worked best when i have a girlfriend (i know its not only me, but i depend on it a lot). Women have always played a big role in my life and have been a stepping stone for me to do any major change regarding lifestyle and character. Recently i had broken up with my girlfriend and however i might have said it am not completely over her. That is why the image of the girl in my dream. It is a wishfulfilment for me to have a partner beside me again to share my burden and help me succeed.

The street crossing is tricky. It serves as a hindrance, something like an atlantic ocean between me and my grandmother who is in Bulgaria. The reason why it IS a street and not an ocean comes again from experiences during the day. Every day i have to cross several HUGE streets to go to work and am usually afraid not to get hit by a car. On occassions when i cross and there is car flying by me i usually spit in my bosom (hahah Bulgarian tradition)… Therefore the image of the fat guy ‘dancing’ on the sidewalk. His dancing was a supersticious reaction to him being almost hit by the car. Anyway. This scene is not very important.

Next we get to the playing field. Of course since i had the wish to play soccer during the day with my friends i dreamt of kids doing that. Again a latent wish fulfillment. The moment with the kid that gets hit in the head however comes directly from my far past. I must have been 7 or 8 and i was playing soccer with the big guys. I was a golie. One of the guys hit me so hard with the ball in the head that i flew back. Since then i have always been afraid of the ball and have never played at 100% in a game. Therefore in my dream soccer was also connected with my childhood. Which in its turn is connected with my grandmother – who had a HUGE role in my young years. Therefore she also carries a ball. Anyway. Why my grandmother in first place – again a wish fulfilment. I have been talking a lot recently about her. Worrying if she is okay and wanting to see her. The only way i can reach her though is through phone. Which however is not enough and “i never pick her calls” = “never actually go home to see her”.

So thats it pretty much. Of course there is a bit more and the whole story could be extended but this should give the general idea. Especially since i had this post staying as a draft for some time. Time to publish. Please come back again !

“Everything you can imagine is real”

...thats what the great Pablo Picasso once said. I decided that since my website bears two quotes from two of the most imaginative painters in the world, I ought to start my postings with a few videos dedicated to their wonderful art. The first video bellow is a painting by Picasso. You will be able to actually see how he painted it. It is amazing.

Next one is a small slideshow of some of the more famous paintings by Gaugin... Enjoy!

And now for last - again Picasso. And i would like to end this post with a short thought of his:

"Everyone wants to understand art. Why don't we try to understand the song of a bird? Why do we love the night, the flowers, everything around us, without trying to understand them? But in the case of a painting, people think they have to understand. If only they would realize above all that an artist works of necessity, that he himself is only an insignificant part of the world, and that no more importance should be attached to him than to plenty of other things which please us in the world though we can't explain them; people who try to explain pictures are usually barking up the wrong tree."

Here are a couple of links for the ones wanting a little bit more info:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Gauguin

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pablo_Picasso

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-Impressionism

http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?criteria=O%3AAD%3AE%3A2098&page_number=1&template_id=6&sort_order=1